I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
