Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
