Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Houston, we have a blender
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
