Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
