And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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