Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
look no pants
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
