So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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