I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
