I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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