who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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