That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
