too bad you live with your parents still
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
