and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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