he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize