I'm eating all of the evidence.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize