Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
