dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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