I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
