i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Do vagina's smell?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
