Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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