sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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