bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
