hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
