She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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