Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
