and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
