wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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