I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
