I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
4 words: hood of his car
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
