This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We got so high we made milksteak
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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