I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
