So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
