Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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