You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
