worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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