If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
