He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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