anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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