i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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