Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
