This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you never un-have a 4some
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
