Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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