those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
