This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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