Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
