no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
