I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
