You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
