Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
too bad you live with your parents still
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
