Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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