She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
