It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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