I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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