Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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