Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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