I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
