I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
