just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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