He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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