break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
