i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
