How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
