I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
