its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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