What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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