I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
