i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize